Silent Night
by JustATestRun
Summary: Santana knew she made the biggest mistake of her life the minute she left Brittany in that choir room. Some time has passed and she decides to head back to Lima to try and fix things. But some news from McKinley's resident gossip chain catches her off guard. Now Santana has to face the reality that it might just be too late to win Brittany's heart back.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Santana stood in her dorm in Louisville packing her things for her Christmas break back in Lima. Headed home for the holidays and all that. She had made it through her first semester and best believe it was horrendous. She had started re-evaluating herself months ago but she promised herself she'd try. Grabbing the last of her things to put in her suitcase, she closed it up. Now to finish the rest of her packing.

Okay, so maybe she wasn't going home for just the holidays. She walked around her room and picked up all of her things. All her CDs, books, pictures, etc. She picked up her last picture frame, it had to be her favorite picture that she had. It had been last year, around this time actually. She was lying on the couch, her hair let loose, in a loose t-shirt and sweats. But it wasn't herself she was focusing on. She was focusing on the angel in her arms.

Beautiful golden locks clashing with her own raven tresses. Blue eyes visible in the picture, staring back at her own, she remembers, with so much love it took her breath away. She remembers the smile she had plastered on her face, the corner of which is visible in the picture. Her angel was smiling too of course,  
lighting up the room it seemed. Santana looked at her arms, encircling the dancer's waist tightly, holding her close. She remembered how it felt to hold her in her arms, such perfection, such awe inspiring beauty and my god did she miss it. She remembered how her Mami had taken the picture from the doorway of the living room. She knew the girls would be so lost in their own world, that they wouldn't even realize a flash went off, or a camera lens was pointed directly at them. And they didn't, they never did. And it was moments like that, that made perfect photo-ops for Maribel. Santana remembered the smile that broke out on her face when Maribel gave her the picture in a frame just days before she was to leave for Louisville to get acquainted with college life.

Smiling to herself, she placed the photo on top of her last box carefully. Closing the box she looked around. Nothing here would give a sign that Santana Lopez had ever been here besides the faint smell of coconut that lingered. All of her belongings packed up in boxes, she started carrying them down to her car. Once the lay box was loaded up she went upstairs for the last time and locked the door behind her, saying goodbye to her first and probably only dorm room.  
Checking the time, she climbed into her car and started it up. It was a long drive, but she knew that Louisville wasn't for her. Not that Lima necessarily was either, but there was something Lima had that Louisville didn't. Her. The angel in the photograph. Lima had her and Santana would be lying if she said that wasn't part of the reason she was going back there instead of anywhere else. She had made a huge mistake just weeks ago and she was miserable because of it. Now she knew she had to find a way to fix it, if she could. She needed her angel more than she needed air. There had to be some way to undo her rash, foolish, decision. There just had to be.

With that in mind she started off for home. She pulled out of the Louisville lot and onto a main road. Kissing Kentucky goodbye she put on some tunes and headed for the interstate. It was a nice drive. Barely any traffic, the skies were clear, she had her good music and she had her objective. All she needed now was to get there. She was singing along to some Amy Winehouse when her phone started buzzing. It buzzed once, twice, three times, before stopping,  
signaling that she had just gotten a text. She didn't want to chance reading it now because she knew the dangers of texting and driving. So she figured she'd wait until she got to a rest stop. Luckily the next one wasn't far, just a few miles.

Pulling into the rest stop, Santana forgot about her phone and instead was focused on getting a snack, she hasn't eaten since about 7 that morning and it was almost 6 in the evening now. She went to the little convenience store and got herself a big bag of gummy bears, some chips and a powerade. She purchased her snacks and was on her way back to her car when her phone buzzed again. She looked to find she had 5 new messages. How she missed the other 3 she wasn't sure but it was irrelevant. Unlocking her phone she saw there was a text from Tina, Artie, and 3 from Sugar. Opening the text from Tina first she read,  
 **Gothic Asian: Hey, I'm here to talk if you ever need to.**

She was really confused, why was Tina texting her this? Moving on to Artie's text she read,  
 **Wheels: I wouldn't worry about it too much Santana, they're too alike for it to last.**

What? Who the hell was he talking about? She shook her head, now she was even more confused. Finally she checked Sugar's messages,  
 **Richie Bitch: Don't worry Santana, they won't last. We all know that. I think even she knows that. She knows he can't fill that spot.**  
 **Richie Bitch: It won't take long for her to realize it. And I think he already does.**  
 **Richie Bitch: He doesn't stand a chance.**

Santana's heart was beating a mile a minute. Sugar couldn't possibly mean what the messages were implying. Just as she was trying to get her breathing under control she got one more message.  
 **Richie Bitch: Brittany knows that Sam will never be the one for her.  
**

And just like that, Santana stopped breathing, her heart shattered and the floodgates opened.

A/N: So i've never posted anything i've written before. And i'm not sure if this is anything people would want to read. But if it is, let me know in the comments that you'd like me to continue. Much thanks. - J


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of it's characters, because if I did, Season 3 onward would have went compleeeeeeetely different.**

To the first guest who reviewed this: Um 'scuse you...rude.

To the rest of the wonderful guests who reviewed this: Thank you so much. I appreciate you all. And don't worry Brittana is endgame. OTP for daaaaays!

Grrrrs Randomness: Lol I feel you. S3 onward was a wreck I think.

RogueWolf69: I totally agree with you about the reason why they broke up and we'll explore San's motives a little better as we go along. But about Bram, the marriage/soulmates thing to me felt like a cop out for the writers, so i'm taking it a little differently. This is mostly-canon to about S4E8, after that, it's rewrite time.

Gleefreak15: Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.

Thanks for the reviews guys. And please keep them coming, tell me what you like and what you don't, constructive criticism is welcome.  
Sorry for any grammatical/spelling errors, i'm trying my best to edit this but i'm probably gonna miss a few things. Anyway, onto the next chapter. - J

* * *

Chapter 1

She sat there in that lot for another hour, just trying to find the strength to come out of shock. This couldn't be happening. Not that she really had any right to be mad but still, there was no way in hell that this was happening. She wiped the tears she had shed and she started her car again. She took a few deep breaths before pulling out of the lot and back onto the highway.

It took about an hour and a half to get home. The half was because she drove a little slow since there were still tears filling up her eyes periodically and it had been getting steadily darker out. But she made it home eventually. Parking the car, she grabbed her suitcase and walked up to the house. Before she could even think about putting her key in the door, it swung open to reveal a smiling Maribel Lopez. She pulled her daughter into a bone-crushing hug and yelled out, "Mija!" Santana tried to hide her distress and smile back. But unfortunately her eyes were still red and a little puffy from crying, so when Maribel took a step back to admire her daughter, that was the first thing she took notice of. Immediately her hands flew up to grab her daughter's arms. "Nena, qué paso?" Santana tried to fight it. She didn't want to break down now and frighten her mother, but the way she was looking at her, she felt her walls start slipping.

Another couple of tears rolled down her face and before another word was uttered, she was being pulled into the house. Her bag was being brought upstairs for her as she stood by the door, frozen, trying to hold back her emotions. She closed her eyes hoping no more tears would escape. She stayed that way for a few minutes, until she heard footsteps come closer and her coat was being pulled off of her shoulders and down her arms. Once her coat was gone she felt a tug at her hand and she opened her eyes to see her Mami looking at her with sad eyes. "Come Nena." She told her. "Let's go into the kitchen and I'll make you something to eat okay?" Nodding slightly, Santana followed her mother into the kitchen.

Sitting down at the counter and wrapping her arms around herself, her brain went into overdrive and the rest of her shut down. Her head was filled with thoughts that were starting to make her stomach hurt. She had always thought Sam was a nice enough guy. But she also knew that if anyone were to rival Puck in ability to bounce from one girl to the next, it was Sam. That thought alone was enough to make her cringe. Even she'd given the guy a shot at one point, so really, who was she to judge. She took a shaky breath and let out a deep sigh. Her mother quietly returned to her side with a sandwich and a glass of juice. It seemed kind of childish, but when she was really upset, Santana appreciated small things that reminded her of childhood, and Maribel had only a handful of times before seem so broken as she did now so she knew she had to pull out all of the stops tonight.

Maribel reached out slowly and started to rub her daughter's back, trying to soothe the girl out of the fragile state she was clearly in. "Come on baby girl, eat and tell Mami what's wrong." She practically whispered. Santana gave her a small grateful smile and took a small bite of the sandwich. She appreciated that her mother knew her well enough to not ask any more questions until she was ready to talk. It gave her a chance to sort through her emotions and her thoughts to try and come up with a way to explain why she was such a wreck. Eventually, she concluded that any explanation she would give, probably wouldn't even get past the first sentence without her breaking down again, so she came up with the simplest solution. Pulling her phone out from her pocket she unlocked it and went back to her texts. She tried not to re-read them as she scrolled through them for her Mami.

Maribel read the texts from Tina, Artie and especially Sugar and her face transitioned from confusion to total surprise and a pained understanding dawned on her. She knew about the break up the day it happened when Santana came home acting like the world had ended, and perhaps for her it had so to speak. When her daughter told her what happened, she was extremely shocked to say the least but she knew the girls were made for each other. Her motherly intuition told her so, and she had no doubt in her mind that they would find their way beck to each other. Now she was seeing proof that maybe this was not the case. The older woman tried to keep her face neutral when she turned back to Santana, only to lose her composure when she saw her daughter leaning on the counter with her head in her hands. All it took was the sound of a single sniffle for Maribel to spin her little girl around and pull her in tight.

Santana gave in to her mother's embrace. She was tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally, she was just tired. She didn't want to think, she didn't want to feel. She didn't want to do anything. So she just let herself be held like she was a small child again. After some time, they both let go and Maribel pushed some stray hairs away from Santana's face and kissed her on the forehead. She could see the exhaustion written all over her, so she gently pulled Santana up to stand and said "Why don't you go rest Mija. We can talk some more in the morning okay?" Santana nodded and kissed her mother on the cheek before she turned and trudged up the stairs without a sound. Maribel stood in the kitchen with her hand over her heart. Taking out her own phone she texted her husband.  
 **Mi Esposo:** _Santana está en casa. She's hurting Ramón. No me gusta!_

Meanwhile Santana was upstairs in her room just standing in front of her closed door. She didn't want to walk in her room. It held too many memories. Too many memories with her Angel. She walked ever so slowly into the room and she tried to ignore the photographs of them all around her. She tried to ignore how she could practically hear her giggles filling the room. She tried to ignore how she looked everywhere and saw her; sitting on the bed cuddling her pillow, looking out the window trying to count the stars, rearranging the perfume bottles on the dresser by color. She tried, and failed miserably. Covering her nose and mouth to stop the sounds from carrying downstairs to her mother she let herself cry again. She figured she deserved every bit of this pain, so she was going to take it.

Resigned to wallow in her own sadness and reflect on her stupidity she kicked off her shoes, stripped down and changed into an oversized t-shirt and sweats. Santana threw herself down on the bed and didn't even bother climbing under the covers. She tossed all of the pillows to the floor just to be safe and curled up into a ball. If anyone had seen her at that moment, they wouldn't have believed that the feisty, loud mouthed latina with the big personality and even bigger attitude was capable of making herself seem so small. But in moments like these, that was exactly what she did. She didn't want to remember anymore, she just wanted to sleep. She didn't want to think of all the things that Sam could be doing with Brittany at that exact moment. She didn't want to think of how he could be holding her in his arms as she slept. How he could be laying there as she traced her fingers over his stomach and arms. How she could be laughing at his stupid impressions and kissing him before they both fell asleep. She didn't want to think of any of it. Crying herself to sleep had become a somewhat normal occurrence for Santana over the last few months. But this time was a little different. This time she knew she wasn't waking up with any sort of distraction to take her mind off of anything. She knew she was going to feel every bit as miserable tomorrow as she did right now. So she just let the tears run until she slipped into unconsciousness, because there was nothing else left to do.

Maribel stood outside of the bedroom door, listening to the small sobs and whimpers that were coming from inside. She had come to check on her daughter one last time but she couldn't bring herself to go inside when she heard the state Santana was in. She knew her daughter needed this moment to just let her emotions be free, without any pressure to compose herself. So she just brought up her hand to wipe away the few tears she cried for her baby girl's heart. She placed her other hand on the door and whispered, "All will be made right Mija. Just give it time. All will be made right." And she prayed that somehow, her words would become the truth.


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, sadly Ryan Murphy does.  
**

Thank you to my wonderful reviewers, I love getting feedback. I appreciate every one of you, I really do. Tell me what you like, what you don't, what you'd like to see, what you hope not to see. Talk to me, I encourage constructive criticism.

I'm sorry about the wait but life is a little hectic so once a week might be the best I can do but i'm hoping that's alright with you guys. And I hope this chapter was worth the wait. - J

* * *

Chapter 2

She was running through empty halls. Voices everywhere calling out to her. But there was one, that stood out above the rest. A voice she would know for the rest of her life. The voice she wanted to wake up to for as long as she lived. The voice she wanted to hear cry out her name in the throes of passion. It was _the_ voice. She ran to it, she had to find it. But she couldn't. It was everywhere and it was nowhere. Then suddenly the voices stopped. All of them at once. Then that voice. That delicately beautiful voice spoke her name and she followed it to its source. When she reached the owner of the voice she halted in her tracks. No. No, no, no, this wasn't happening. Her angel was in his arms, her hands in his hair, her legs around his waist. No. She looked away but that voice called her back.

"Santana..." Her eyes were forced upwards to meet those eyes that filled her greatest dreams and memories. "...look what you did." Her angel said to her. She fell to the floor in agony. No, this wasn't happening. It couldn't.

Shooting up out of bed, Santana stifled a yell. She threw the blankets off and jumped off of the mattress. She stumbled around in the dark of her room for a moment before she got her bearings. It was just a dream. Just a dream, nothing more. But damn did it hurt like it was real. She didn't realize it but she had shot up holding her hand above her heart. She had to calm her erratic breathing and try to relax her muscles that were uncomfortably tense. Santana let her eyes adjust to the darkness before she moved back to her bed and sat at the edge of it.

How did everything end up this way? It wasn't supposed to. They were supposed to be together forever just the two of them. And now she was with Trouty Mouth. That part added to the sting too. She didn't understand how Brittany could be with Sam of all people. Not that Sam wasn't a good guy. She just never thought he'd be _that_ guy. Shaking herself out of that train of thought she got up and walked out of her room. She couldn't sit in there anymore. There was no point in doing so either since she wouldn't be falling asleep again tonight. She never could fall asleep again after those kind of nightmares.

Santana slowly made her way downstairs, trying to keep her footsteps light, avoiding all those spots on the floor she knew creaked. Sneaking around her own house was something she'd mastered her sophomore and junior years of high school, but it was for a much different reason back then. She walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water, trying to cool herself down from the inside out. The glass was empty before the tears started falling again, almost as if her eyes were waiting to be re-hydrated. She tried to keep herself quiet, tried to keep the sniffles and whimpers to a minimum. But it was of no use. The harder she fought, the harder it was to keep all of her pieces together. She curled in on herself, wrapping her arms around her body, as if that would be enough to hold it all in. As trapped in her head as she was, she didn't see the shadow fall over the doorway, nor the figure moving towards her.

Santana hadn't even noticed the presence behind her until arms were wrapped around her. Stiffening in the grip she let herself be surrounded by strong arms and the faint smell of sanitizer mixed in with cologne. Once she realized exactly who was holding her, she let her guard crumble. Turning around she buried her face into the chest of Dr. Ramón Lopez, her Papi. Ramón held his baby girl tight in his arms and hummed soothing lullabies trying to calm her. He ran his fingers through her hair until finally she quieted down and her body stopped quaking. He placed his finger under her chin and lifted her face out of his chest, his shirt now drenched with her tears. He wiped her tear streaks and stared down at his little girl. He was heartbroken to see her like this, it was completely unlike her. He'd never seen his daughter look so vulnerable before. Even when the advertisement came out the year before or when his mother disowned her granddaughter, there still wasn't this much sadness in the brown eyes that matched his.

Santana kept her eyes away from her father's face. She didn't want to look at him and see her own weakness mirrored in his eyes. But he wouldn't have any of that. He nudged under her chin again and forced her to look up at him.

"Don't be ashamed for feeling, Mija." He told her softly. Santana was a perfect mix of her parents, physically and emotionally. Some of her best and worst traits could be traced back to Ramón and Maribel. But he knew her ability to express emotions (or lack of ability rather) was entirely his doing. He knew how she felt about showing pain or fear, because it was how he felt about it. But he wouldn't watch it happen any longer. It had to stop somewhere. Grabbing his daughter by the hand, Ramón walked them both into the living room. He sat down on their sofa, and pulled her down next to him.

"Habla conmigo Nena." He said as gently as possible.

Santana stayed quiet for a moment. She wasn't sure what there was to say. How do you explain to someone that you made the biggest mistake of your life and now you can't go back and fix it because someone else already did? How do you tell them that you haven't slept well for months? How do you tell them that you have recurring nightmares about your mistake? How do you explain to them that you can't put your iPod on shuffle anymore because if and when certain songs come on, you break down and bawl your eyes out? Answer, it's fucking difficult. So Santana just went with the simplest answer.

"I screwed up Papi." She said quietly. Her voice was hoarse from crying, but that wasn't new to her either.

Ramón observed her, noting the slump in her shoulders and how tired she looked. "Screw-ups happen Santana." He told her. "That's part of growing up. You learn how to deal with them and you learn how to avoid them next time. And they help you learn something about yourself."

She scoffed and mumbled "Yeah that I'm a fucking moron."

Ramón grabbed her hand and held it tightly in his own. "Santana no daughter of mine is a fucking moron, so don't call yourself that. You did what you thought was best at the time. And at the time anybody could have been telling you that it was a mistake but you wouldn't have listened. Now you see your error. You have learned something."

Santana just rolled her eyes and shook her head at her dad. "Yeah well a lot of good that lesson does me now Papi. She's with Guppy Face now and I'm sure him and their fish babies are going to make her very happy. Anything I've learned is irrelevant."

Taking a deep breath Ramón moved himself closer to Santana. With her last comment, he got a pretty good grip on what was happening. "Maybe you're right. Maybe it doesn't do you any good right now, at this moment. But there is something very valuable that you have learned. And I promise you that it is more important to shaping your future than you think. Would you like me to tell you what that is?"

Santana was skeptical. What could her father tell her that was going to make this seem any better? She was sure there was nothing. But she would let him speak, it's not like he would give her much of a choice anyway. "Fine…go ahead."

Ramón tightened his grip even more and didn't waste a moment. He wasn't sure if he would ever get another chance to speak to Santana this way." Through this experience Mija, you have learned this simple truth…" He tensed as his next words left his knew she wasn't going to take this well. "…You can live without Brittany." He didn't to get to say anymore because the second she heard those words come out of his mouth, Santana stood up and tried to leave the room. But Ramón stood up with her and kept her hand tightly in his. He rushed to continue. "Nenita, Por favor, let me finish."

She interjected and yanked her hand away from his. "No, I don't wanna hear it! I'm not going to listen to another person tell me I need to just move on already. Trust me Papi, I know! And if it were that simple, believe me I would have. But it doesn't work like that. I can't just…" Her jaw was clenched and her shoulders squared. She was clearly ready for a fight, but it wasn't going to come to one.

Ramón help up his hand to get her attention and cut her off mid-sentence. "That's not what I was going to say. Now let me finish Santana." He spoke with the voice he always used when he was being stern. It was the same voice he used when he was commanding his team at the hospital. The same voice Santana had grown up being disciplined with. And even though she was no longer a child, it still demanded the same respect as it always had, and she knew better than to argue.

Santana crossed her arms and Ramón knew she was feeling the need to put her guard up. She would her him, but he knew that she wouldn't really be listening as long as that guard was there. So he hoped that what he said next would make her drop her walls and really listen to him. Placing his hands on her shoulders he made sure to catch her eye. It was something he always made sure to do when he was being serious, eye contact was very important. "Santana, through this all you have learned that you can live without Brittany..." He felt her tense more underneath his hands. "...But..." He took a pause to help emphasize his point. "...The most important thing you've learned is you don't want to."

Santana looked back at her father with confusion all over her face. She didn't understand, surely this conversation was heading somewhere different. It always went somewhere different. Her father couldn't actually be on her side about this, could he?

Ramón chuckled at the look on her face. "Now, think of it this way. You know that a relationship in which the people are dependent on each other or it's a one-sided dependence is not healthy. If someone cannot under any circumstances function without the other, it's not healthy. Correct?" Santana wasn't sure where he was going with this but she knew the kind of relationships he was talking about. The kind you saw on tv, on those insane mid-morning dramatic talk shows. But she nodded anyway, interested in where he was going to take this.

Ramón continued, "Right. Well now you know for sure that your relationship with Brittany was not and is not one of those. You can function without her. Your life carries on if she's not in it." At that, her walls came flying back up. He could see she was ready to leave again so he was quick to finish. "But now you know that even though you very much can carry on without her there, you don't want to. You want to be there with her, and you want her with you. And Santana trust me, wanting to be with her, is worth so much more than needing to be with her."

Santana had been ready to flee once again. Anytime somebody tried to tell her how much she didn't need Brittany in her life that was her response. But she had actually listened to what her father had said, and she was surprised to see that his last words were so different from anyone else that she had tried to talk to about this. She didn't expect him to actually say something she would agree with. And she definitely did agree with him. She didn't need Brittany in her life for any other reason that she wanted her with every fiber of her being. Brittany and her just made sense, everything about them was just designed to fit. From their hands to their personalities, they were a perfect match. And yeah she could go out and pretend that anybody else would stand a chance, but there was no point. Her future, _their_ future, was all she saw when she let her mind go there.

She wanted to wake up 5 years from now with Brittany in her arms, excited for them both to go have another successful day at jobs they both love. She wanted to be woken up ten years from now next to Brittany by their kids, a blonde little boy with his Momma's eyes but his Mami's big mouth and a raven haired little girl with her Mami's smile but her Momma's bubbly attitude. She wanted every holiday, every birthday, every day with her dancer. She wanted that future more than she'd ever wanted anything in her life.

Santana was unaware but she'd gotten quiet as her mind started to wander. A smile had grown on her face as she went on her little journey into the future. Ramón stood there and smiled along with her because he could practically see the wheels spinning in her brain. He knew exactly what she was imagining and to see the pain in her eyes be replaced with hope, was beautiful. He gently snapped her out of her daydream and brought her back to this world. He wasn't done just yet. "Santana, you know what you want."

She came back to the present and nodded, a small smile still on her face. The images she'd just created still lingering in her head. But her father's voice once again grounded her.

"Well you're a Lopez, Mija. And we work for what we want." Santana looked up at her father and her smiled grew. "So go get it." He winked at her and pulled her into his arms. But this embrace was so much different from the last.

Once again letting herself be wrapped in his embrace, Santana hugged him tightly. All of the darkness that had been surrounding her earlier was replaced by this warm bright light. She felt a sort of electricity flowing through her, and she was ready to go. She was ready to go after that future she saw. She would fight harder for that future than she had ever fought for anything before. And considering the things she'd done in high school that was certainly saying something.

"Gracias Papi." She said into his chest.

"De nada mi princesa." Letting her go Ramón spun her around and started walking her back to the stairs. "Now go get some rest. You'll need it for all the planning you'll be on doing tomorrow." He chuckled.

Santana laughed at how well her dad actually knew her and climbed the steps two at a time. She felt better now that she had for the last few months and she was grateful. She yelled goodnight to her father who was still downstairs and closed her bedroom door. As she laid back in bed she let her imagination run wild again. Tomorrow she would begin planning how to correct the biggest mistake she's ever made.


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Glee in no part belongs to me. Which let's be honest, is probably for the best. I also don't own Apple or any of it's applications, or Google.  
**

As always, I love you my wonderful reviewers. You are incredible. And a couple of you had questions after the last chapter so i'm going to answer those questions here. So this section is a little longer than normal, sorry.  
But no LananaBanana I do not mind at all.

1) Yes that god forsaken sham of a plotline (aka the end of the world wedding) will not be happening in this story. This all takes place before the events of the Christmas episode and it's safe to say that nothing from there will be relevant. I think that episode was a poor representation of both Sam and Brittany as characters.

2) Yes I will also be changing the way Brittany and Sam got together. Because I agree, the way that was written was terrible and upsetting.

3) I am going to be writing the version of Sam that I had always imagined him to be when I watched his interactions on the show. This story is not going to really portray Sam as the bad guy because I don't see him as one. (So this is fair warning that if you're looking for Sam bashing, this is not the place for it.) I think the writers wasted his potential too and I also want to fix that if I can. So i'm not tweaking him completely, but this is what I meant by _mostly_ -canon. Because the way he acts in this story might seem a little OOC compared to the writing on the show, but that might be more IC anyway by definition. I don't know, you guys tell me when we get there what you think.

4) It's exactly as you said, it's Santana's mind running wild. She has no proof that anything has happened between Brittany and Sam in that regard. The only thing she knows for sure is that they're dating. Other than that, it's all her perception and her imagination fills in quite a few unnecessary blanks. And since this story is being told mostly from her side of things, we're going to see a lot of that.

and for GL

5) Talking about the big mistake is them breaking up in the first place. What happened in Glease in my opinion was her still trying to convince herself she'd done the right thing.

As always, please don't be shy in the review section you beautiful people. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. - J

* * *

Chapter 3

Waking up the next morning wasn't nearly as traumatic as it had been waking up from her dream. Instead of fear and panic, all Santana felt was a calmness that had been the product of her conversation with her father and her other dream after she had fallen back to sleep. This dream was much more pleasant. This dream started with her and Brittany walking hand in hand on a beach somewhere. She didn't know what beach or where it was but the sun was shining and the breeze blew their hair backwards. They were walking at the water's edge and Santana had looked down at their joined hands, seeing how perfectly they fit together. And she noticed something else, Brittany had a ring on her left hand. She turned slowly to look at her own left hand and there it was, the ring that matched Brittany's. Just as she raised her eyes to search for her _wife's_ , a little boy and little girl ran past her. She didn't think anything of it until the woman beside her called out to them.

"Be careful ducklings! Don't fall in the water." She laughed and Santana couldn't help the grin that snuck onto her face. Brittany turned to her and her grin turned into a smile. "Our babies are something else huh?"

The happiness that she felt hearing those words was indescribable. And just as she went to answer, the alarm on her phone went off. She had forgotten to turn it off. And when she sat up in her bed, unlike last night, she had a big smile in place. She got up and she couldn't help the small giggle that accompanied her memory of her dream. It was involuntary.

After she was completely awake, she was showered, her teeth were brushed, her hair was combed and tied in a loose bun on top of her head, she made her way downstairs. When she walked into the kitchen she saw her mother sitting at the counter and her father was cooking breakfast. Walking quietly she got behind her mother and wrapped her arms around her, kissing her cheek. "Morning Mami."

Maribel jumped in her seat and placed her hand over her heart. "Ay Mija, you scared me."

Santana laughed softly. "Lo siento." Walking up beside her father she placed her hand on his shoulder and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek too. "Morning Papi." Stealing a piece of bacon from the plate beside the stove she walked over to sit down next to her mother. Leaning her head on her mother's shoulder, she watched her father cook and listened as her parents carried on with their conversation. She started to imagine herself in her dad's shoes with her own beautiful wife opposite of her. They would make breakfast like this together when they got the chance. She would cook of course because Brittany didn't like trying to figure out recipes and Santana knew she would just take pride in being able to cook for her girl. She was so swept up in her daydream though, that she didn't notice her parents had been speaking to her. She only noticed when Maribel whistled in her ear entirely too loudly.

"Ow! Ma, what was that for?" She yelled, holding a hand to her ear. She was sure the volume of that whistle just gave her some sort of hearing loss.

Maribel just shrugged. "Presta atención nena and that won't have to happen again." She pointed to the dining room table where Ramón was already seated with the food. "Now vamos, breakfast." Santana just rolled her eyes playfully and chuckled, sliding off her stool and joining her parents at the table.

They ate and talked, just enjoying each others company when Ramón interrupted the flow of conversation and cleared his throat. "So Mija..." He said tentatively. "When I came home last night, I noticed something...interesting...about your car."

Santana took a sip of her apple juice and looked at her dad confused. "What's wrong with my car?" She asked. It was fine when she drove over. She couldn't imagine anything had happened to it since she arrived.

Ramón just shook his head. "Nothing's wrong with it per say." He bit down on a piece of bacon and continued. "Unless you consider it being filled with boxes of your things, something wrong."

Maribel stopped eating and looked at her husband, then back at her daughter. "Full of...Santana why are your things in your car?"

Santana stopped eating and looked at her parents. She knew she'd have to talk to them about this eventually, it might as well be now. "Well..." She started, "...remember when I told you that I wasn't sure if Kentucky was for me?" Her parents nodded slowly. "Yeah…it's not." She said slowly. Her father just titled his head in curiosity waiting for her to continue. Her mother however was more verbal in her lack of understanding.

"How do you know it's not for you? You've only been there one term." Maribel was confused. What was her daughter getting at?

Santana spoke again. "Sí Mami, pero not once in the entire term did I feel like I was accomplishing something. Or like it was worth giving up..." She paused, maybe she could leave that part out. "...a lot of things that made me happy, to pursue an education there." She went back to eating slowly while her mother interrogated her and her father just stared.

Maribel had many questions and she was intent on getting answers before breakfast was over. "So if Louisville isn't the college for you then what is? Or are you saying college isn't for you in general?"

Santana thought about that for a second. "We'll I can't say that there's no college for me because I haven't tried all of them. But I haven't found one in particular that makes me absolutely want to go."

Her mother didn't let up. "So that means what?" She didn't want her daughter just dropping out with no plan.

The questions flying at her didn't even phase Santana. She was ready for this interrogation. "That means, that I don't want to go to a conventional college. I want to try something else." She took a moment to take another drink and continued. "When I graduated, you told me to go to New York. You said that you trusted me and my dreams. Well I still have those dreams but I put them on hold because I was going to go to Louisville. I don't want to put them on hold anymore. I want to go make them happen and I can't do that if I'm grounded to a college campus." Maribel was listening intently, as was Ramón. "So what I was thinking I'd do is go to New York, find ways to make music my career but at the same time, I would go to school online. That way I could still get my education and my degree but I wouldn't have to necessarily stay in one place to do it."

She sat quietly and looked back and forth between her parents trying to gauge their reactions. Just as she was about to give in and ask them to say something, Ramón finally spoke up. "And what about living arrangements?" Santana let out a small breath. They weren't immediately disapproving and that was a good sign.

She went on, "Well I actually have some friends in New York and I talked to them about possibly rooming with them until I could get on my own feet. Then after I got a steady job I could find a small apartment for myself. They said that it was cool with them if I stayed there for a little while, that it would probably help them out a little bit too." Ramón went back to silence and nodded, Maribel seemed lost in thought and she nodded along as well. Santana waited patiently for one of them to say something, but it seemed the two of them were waiting on each other. She played with her hands on her lap, a nervous habit she'd had since childhood, as she waited.

After some time Ramón broke the silence. "Well I think it's a great idea Mija and I think it's wonderful that you want to pursue your dreams. I also am very impressed that you've thought it out so carefully. So I suppose the final question is, when will you be going to New York?"

Santana let out a huge breath and brought her hands back up to the table. She was shocked her parents were actually going along with this. She had been so sure they would protest. But her parents did always manage to surprise her, maybe it was time she stopped underestimating them. "I guess when I am finished here." she finally answered.

Maribel spoke up again. "Very well Mija, as long as you have a plan in place and are going to put your all into this, Papi and I support you a hundred percent". She smiled at her daughter. She was very proud of how far she had come this past year. "And I suppose it's a good thing we saved the money we tried to give you last year for just this purpose." She fought back a laugh at the look on Santana's face.

"You what!?" After graduation, her mother had given her a check worth an impressive amount that her parents had wanted to give her as her graduation present. Back then she had been struggling to make a decision of where she was going to go, but she finally decided on Louisville, since it would be closest to…well, that obviously didn't work out the way she planned. But when she'd made that decision she gave the money back to her parents and told them to take themselves on a vacation or something, but never did she imagine they'd kept the money this whole time. Again, maybe it was time she stopped underestimating the two of them. But with her parents chuckling to themselves, she shook her head and protested. "No! No you guys, that's not…I'm not taking it. I wanted you both to use it for yourselves, I mean you deserve it after everything. I'm not using it. I can pay my own way, really, you don't have to…." She was cut off by her father, who was trying to control his laughter.

"Santana we're not doing this because we feel we have to. We're doing this because we want to. We believe in you and like Mami said, we support you one hundred percent." Ramón cracked just a little. "Besides, we knew this day would be coming. We knew a place like Louisville could never hold you for long. If we're being honest Mija, you lasted longer than we thought." He looked at his wife and they shared a laugh. "But we're proud of you for trying something new, and for knowing when to say that it's not for you, because that takes courage." Ramón just looked across the table at his baby girl and took a moment to soak in just how grown up she was becoming, his eyes shining with pride.

Santana was at a loss for words, which was something that rarely happened. She was in shock at everything her parents were saying and was trying to wrap her head around it all. Maribel took her silence as an opportunity to jump back into the conversation. "Now things are going to be a little different than the offer we made last year. It's not to say that we don't trust you, but instead of giving you all of the money at once, Papi and I thought that it would be best to give it to you a little bit at a time."

Having gotten control of himself, Ramón piped up from the other side of the table. "So here's the deal baby. You go to New York and stay with your friends for a little while, find a job and look at online programs and apartments. We'll pay for whatever classes you decide to take, and half of the rent. You will be responsible for the other half and whatever expenses you come up with. It's going to take some budgeting but it's doable. How does that sound?"

Now it was their turn to wait for Santana to say something. She wasn't sure what there was to even say at this point. She was way beyond surprised at this point, she was completely blown away. There were no words to express how grateful she was. Finding her voice again, she just smiled at her parents, getting a little emotional if she was being honest. "That sounds like a deal to me." She said. She grabbed her mother's hand and looked up at her father. "Thank you guys so much. I can't even tell you what this means to me."

With a "You're welcome" from her father and a kiss from her mother, the family went back to finishing their breakfast and the air was once more filled with light conversation. They shared some laughs and simply enjoyed the moment together. Santana felt good being back home and she felt more hopeful for her future in the last 24 hours than she had felt in the last few months. And even though her parents were still worried about her deep down, they were glad to see her brightening up again. They missed their daughter's 'go-get-em' attitude.

When breakfast was done Santana helped her mother clean up and headed back upstairs to rifle through her things that she hadn't even gotten to unpack from the night before. She grabbed her laptop from her bag and turned it on, taking out her clothes and putting them away as she waited. Once it loaded up she sat down on her bed and placed it on her lap. She opened up FaceTime and Google Chrome. She went to her bookmarks and opened a few of them before grabbing her phone and sending a message.

 **You okay to FaceTime now or..?**

She went back to looking at the pages she had just opened. After a minute, her phone chimed. Opening her messages, she chuckled and rolled her eyes.

 **That is a go Houston.**

She went back to her FaceTime window, looked for the name she wanted, and hit call. It rang a few times before the person on the other end picked up. With a smile on their face they waved at the camera and greeted cheerily, "Why hello there Satan."


End file.
